Pudsey's WCA

Crossposted from http://samedifference1.com/2012/11/16/pudsey-bears-wca/

By SameDifference1

As a celebration of Children In Need, I gave Pudsey Bear a WCA.
Pudsey Bear’s WCA
Here’s what happened when Pudsey, the disabled bear, went for a Work Capability Assessment to the offices of ATOS.
ATOS Worker: Hello, please sit down.
(Pudsey sits, looking confused)

ATOS Worker: So, he can sit independently. How are you today?

Pudsey: Good, thank you.

ATOS Worker: Hold your arms out, turn your hands over. Straighten your fingers.

Pudsey: I don’t have hands, or fingers.

ATOS Worker: Hmmm…  stand up on your tiptoes.

Pudsey: I don’t have toes… or feet.

ATOS Worker: Hmm… please remove that horrible scarf from across your face. Open your right eye.

Pudsey: It’s not a scarf, it’s an eye patch. And I don’t have a right eye. One of the children pulled it off.
That’s why I had to stop working. I’m partially sighted.

ATOS Worker: Children? You have children? You’re not disabled! Disabled people can’t have CHILDREN!

Pudsey: They’re not my children… I’m a charity mascot… they’re the children I help.

ATOS Worker: A charity mascot? So, you already have a job.  Disability benefit fraud… well well well.

Pudsey: But I’m a partially sighted teddy bear with no fingers, hands, toes or feet…
 
ATOS Worker: Well, Mr Pudsey, if you’re fit to be in the same room as children, you’re fit to work. Close the door on your way out. NEXT!
 
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My addition: Oh no! What will happen to Pudsey next? If he's forced onto the Work Programme how will he fundraise for all those Children in Need? Will the Coalition Government not think of the disabled children?!